Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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