the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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