Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
vagina is talking i cant
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
