I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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