Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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