i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He kissed a someone with a penis
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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