; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
