Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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