I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
