No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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