"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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