she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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