HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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