i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
