You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
