My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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