I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he just fucked me for my cheese..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
soo... how was my night?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
