he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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