I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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