we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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