i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
