how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
