My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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