My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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