I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
