I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
