He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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