She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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