and you said cock pushups were impossible
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
