from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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