ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
