Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
