Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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