i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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