Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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