You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
