do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
