..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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