it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
