Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
