I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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