I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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