How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
