it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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