The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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