what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am midnight drunk by noon
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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