She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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