I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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