Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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