the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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