Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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