Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
